Waaambulance: Converted Chaos Whirlwind

I have gotten a lot of great feedback about my “I Scream” truck converted Chaos Vehicle. It’s fun to bring to events and gets lots of great attention. I decided I needed another “nightmare fuel” vehicle to add to the roster. With the daemonic evil Ice Cream truck out of the way, I’m moving on to a zombie clown ambulance. But in this case, the ambulance isn’t coming to treat injuries; rather, it’s coming to cause wounds!

Many people have noted displeasure with the current Taurox / Taurox Prime model. It’s nice that Astra Militarum got something jeep-like, but the proportions never seemed quite right. But, the front looks truck-like, and needed a slightly bigger “back end.” I came up with the idea of bashing a Taurox with a Munitorum Armoured Container

From front to back: Ambulance Toy, Taurox Prime, and Munitorum Armoured Container

For size and proportion I bought this toy mini-ambulance from Wal-Mart. It also had flashing lights and sounds. After looking at it for a while, I decided I wanted to bring the lights and sound onto this vehicle too. 

I disassembled the ambulance toy, and decided to keep its base as the base of the kitbashed model. The base held the circuity, speaker and battery. I replaced its on-off switch with a momentary pushbutton from my stock. 

I carved out the front of the Taurox, and cut off its roof. And cut off the top of the passenger compartment from the ambulance toy. And kept about ⅔ of the Munitorum container. I stuck it all together with A LOT of green stuff. I kept the lights from the toy and mounted them on the top and the front. It still makes the siren sounds too. 

There are two infantry models in the cab of the vehicle. I started with two Poxwalker models. I particularly picked the one with the long coat, because painted white, he looks sort of like a demonic zombie doctor.

I put two thin strips of sheet steel on the roof. I repurposed the Taurox Prime rocket launchers to represent a Scorpius multi-launcher. Because they are magnetized, I can later remove the rockets and run this vehicle as a Rhino or something else.

Even though it was completed, I felt it looked too clean. I weathered it like crazy, smearing Typhus Corrosion technical paint everywhere, as well as liberal coatings of agrax earthshade and nuln oil. I let the washes pool to give a water-damage sort of look. I finished the model with some bright white edging. I feel that really makes the model pop.

Faceplate on grill of the vehicle. I even spelt “ambulance” backwards, they way it appears on road vehicles

I’m particularly proud of the faceplate on the front grill of the vehicle. I took the Taurox plate, and radically transformed it, so that the lions astride the skull looked more like tufts of hair. Its final result is to look like a clown face. I wrote “ambulance” .

The model was well-received at a tournament I bought it at. People got a kick out of it when the sirens and lights went off. It got a few nicknames, but I think I’m going to stick with the Waaambulance, an expression for when someone is whining unnecessarily.

I plan on running it as a Chaos Whirlwind Scorpius.

Batrep: vs Space Wolves

Fluffy battle report of a recent 1500 point game I had as part of our ongoing Narrative League. It was my Emperor’s Children Chaos Space Marines against Derek’s Space Wolves. I’ve written this from the point of view of Derek’s Venerable Dreadnought, with particular focus on his Vindicare Assassin that can’t seem to do anything right.

Thunderwolf Calvary about to face off against Chaos Cultists

Ulf was restless. He has fought for the Emperor for centuries as an Astartes of the VI Legion, the Space Wolves. And even in death, he still serves, entombed within a Venerable Dreadnought. After countless battles and innumerable wars, today’s skirmish seemed unremarkable. His assignment in this engagement even less inspiring.

His detachment responded to a distress call from the planet Vogen, which was besieged by Xenos and Heretic invaders. Ulf felt the Space Marines would be best used to strike at the heart of the enemy. Instead his detachment  was sent to defend an unremarkable ruin called “SW1”. Reports were that despicable traitors from the Emperor’s Children Legion were advancing on the area. Hardly seemed memorable. Even worse, Ulf was ordered to hold the backfield to prevent flanking. An important tactical role, but he itched for glory and honour. 

Ulf watched with a tinge of jealousy as his brothers advanced on Thunderwolves, bikes, and abroad Rhinos. He saw Wolfen advancing on the opposite flank leaving him alone. Well, maybe not as alone as he thought.

His heightened senses alerted him that he was not alone. He couldn’t see it, but he could hear and smell something atop a tall piece of machinery. He was curious why his Battle Leader had not noticed. Or maybe he did.

Ulf shifted cautiously and readied his great axe. He voxed the Battle Leader.

“I am not alone.”

In a terse response, the battle leader merely replied: “It fights for the Emperor too” and terminated the line. 

Rather put aback, Ulf focused the oculus sensorium of his suit to discern more about this hidden “ally”. It was well-hidden, but Ulf was experienced enough to recognize an Exitus Rifle, the signature weapon of a Vindicare Assassin. 

His younger brethren would consider such a creature to be cowardly. Ulf was more pragmatic, and expected their hidden sniper to contribute.

The din of combat drew Ulf’s attention back to the battle. A Dreadclaw Drop pod descended upon the ruin of a large structure in the centre of the battlefield. Ulf strained to see what was occuring. A unit of Blood Claws, a squad of Incursors, the Chaplain, Wolf Leader, and Librarian all entered the melee. In the midst of the carnage a monstrous figure dominated the melee, laying low the entire squad of Incursors. It was larger than a dreadnought, had a large wingspan, and a terrifying grin. Ulf was sickened by the sight of the Daemon Prince.

Despite its suppressors, Ulf heard the Vindicare Assassin fire at the Daemon. Ulf looked on expectedly, but was disappointed to see a bullet harmlessly impact a ruined wall. He was even more disappointed to see the Daemon Prince dismembering an entire squad of Blood Claws single-handedly. 

“I will join the fray!” Ulf voxed to his Battle Leader, preparing to rush towards the fighting.

“Hold position!” Was the brief reply from the Battle Leader. His voice ragged, and the sound of grinding and carnage evident in the background. 

Across the battlefield, a fellow dreadnought had taken significant damage from several well-placed meltagun shots. The Daemon Prince emerged from the ruin, and as it flew by, finished the dreadnought with a casual shot from its Warp Bolter. Ulf was incensed.

He looked up unexpectedly at the hidden assassin, willing him to do something, anything.

Another shot was levelled at the Daemon Prince. This one finally striking true, but stopped by the creature’s master-crafted armour. Ulf’s disappointment continued to rise. 

He saw the Daemon Prince tear into a squad of Intercessors on the other flank. He wished he was in range to claim vengeance on behalf of his brothers. He would soon have other things to worry about. 

In a burst of Warpflame, a unit of Warp Talons tore into reality close to Ulf. He hefted his shield, finally ready to draw heretic blood. To his consternation, the airborne heretics descended upon the hiding place of the Vindicare Assassin. After a brief pause, Ulf charged forward to intervene in the fray. 

The sniper was an ineffective fighter, using the butt of his rifle to try to swat away his assailants. Ulf sliced down the Warp Talons, one after another, cleaving his way towards the besieged assassin.

After taking some vicious blows from the enemies lightning claws, the Vindicare Assassin had enough space to draw his Exitus Pistol. If Ulf still had eyes, he would have rolled them because the sniper missed his attackers at point blank range. Moments later, the assassin fell to the swipes of razor-sharp talons. 

Ulf finished the last of the intruders. He surveyed the battlefield, overrun with Heretics and unable to spot his brethren. The battle had been lost, but now it was finally time for him to extract some vengeance upon the attackers. He fired up his flamethrower, hefted his axe, and charged at the nearest opponent…

Daemon Prince leads Heretic Space Marines against Space Wolves

BatRep: Emperor’s Children Vs. Necrons

Buckle in for a long post! Here’s a battle report for a battle I had last weekend, including both lists, and at the end, a fluffy “narrative” battle report that has too many circus clichés. Also there is a Mathhammer explosion in the middle explaining how I caused 53 wounds from one unit!

Last weekend marked the start of a Warhammer 40,000 Narrative Crusade Campaign League at XPlanet Games, my friendly local game store (FLGS). We are using a campaign where we fight over territories of Vogen Hive. We are split into 3 teams: Imperial, Chaos, and Xenos.

These narrative games will be a little different: We will be playing the Matched Play Missions from the Nachmund book, and pick secondaries as per matched play rules. But we also pick 3 narrative agendas that potentially help our armies gain experience points. 

I was testing a 1500 point Death Guard army for several test games, and found I wasn’t really enjoying it. I decided to bring my 2021 Emperor’s Children army off the shelf and re-tool them and optimize their efficiency. 

++ Battalion Detachment 0CP (Chaos – Chaos Space Marines) [75 PL, 11CP, 1,440pts] ++

+ Configuration +

Battle Size [12CP]: 3. Strike Force (101-200 Total PL / 1001-2000 Points) 

Detachment Command Cost

Legion: Emperor’s Children

+ Stratagems +

Gifts of Chaos (1 Relic) [-1CP]

+ No Force Org Slot +

Dark Disciples [1 PL, 10pts]: Mark of Slaanesh

. 2x Dark Disciple: 2x Close combat weapon

+ HQ +

Daemon Prince with Wings [10 PL, 205pts]: 5. Glutton for Punishment, Diabolic Strength, Malefic talon, Malefic talon, Raiment Revulsive, Warlord, Warp bolter, Wings

. Slaanesh: Smite

Dark Apostle [4 PL, 80pts]: Accursed crozius, Blissful Devotion, Bolt pistol, Dark Zealotry, Frag & Krak grenades, Illusory Supplication, Mark of Slaanesh, Remnant of the Maraviglia

Sorcerer [6 PL, 115pts]: Bolt pistol, Delightful Agonies, Force sword, Frag & Krak grenades, Jump pack, Mark of Slaanesh, Prescience, Smite

+ Troops +

Chaos Cultists [6 PL, 100pts]: Mark of Slaanesh

. 19x Chaos Cultist w/ autopistol and brutal assault weapon: 19x Autopistol, 19x Brutal assault weapon

. Cultist Champion: Brutal assault weapon and Autopistol

Chaos Cultists [3 PL, 50pts]: Mark of Slaanesh

. 9x Chaos Cultist w/ autopistol and brutal assault weapon: 9x Autopistol, 9x Brutal assault weapon

. Cultist Champion: Brutal assault weapon and Autopistol

Chaos Cultists [3 PL, 50pts]: Mark of Slaanesh

. 9x Chaos Cultist w/ autopistol and brutal assault weapon: 9x Autopistol, 9x Brutal assault weapon

. Cultist Champion: Brutal assault weapon and Autopistol

Noise Marines [10 PL, 175pts]: Icon of Excess

. 9x Marine w/ chainsword: 9x Astartes chainsword, 9x Bolt pistol, 9x Frag & Krak grenades

. Noise Champion: Astartes chainsword, Frag & Krak grenades, Plasma pistol

+ Elites +

Terminators [16 PL, 340pts]: Icon of Excess, Mark of Slaanesh

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

. Terminator Champion: Combi-melta, Lightning Claw

+ Fast Attack +

Dreadclaw Drop Pod [6 PL, 115pts]: Blade struts, Mark of Slaanesh, Thermal jets

Warp Talons [10 PL, 200pts]: Mark of Slaanesh

. 9x Warp Talon: 9x Lightning Claw (Pair)

. Warp Talon Champion: Lightning Claw (Pair)

++ Reinforcements (Chaos – Daemons) [55pts] ++

+ Configuration +

Chaos Allegiance: Slaanesh

Detachment Command Cost

+ Reinforcement Points +

Reinforcements [55pts]: 5x Reinforcement Points, 5x Reinforcement Points

++ Total: [75 PL, 11CP, 1,495pts] ++

I spent all 5 requisition points (RP) I was allowed to start the campaign: Gave the Daemon prince the “Glutton for Punishment” warlord trait for -1 damage. Spent two RP to get two relics, the “Raiment Revulsive” and “Remnant of the Maraviglia”. And spent 2 RP to permanently give my Terminator Squad the “Combat Elixirs” upgrade for an additional attack. 

This was Tyler’s list:

++ Battalion Detachment 0CP (Necrons) [74 PL, 11CP, 1,500pts] ++

+ Configuration + 

Battle Size [12CP]: 3. Strike Force (101-200 Total PL / 1001-2000 Points) 

Detachment Command Cost 

Dynasty Choice: Dynasty: Novokh 

+ HQ + 

Catacomb Command Barge [9 PL, 165pts]: Gauss Cannon, Relic (Novokh): Blood Scythe, Warlord, Warlord Trait (Codex 1): Enduring Will, Warscythe 

Technomancer [5 PL, -1CP, 75pts]: Dynastic Heirlooms, Relic: Veil of Darkness 

Technomancer [7 PL, 110pts]: Arkana: Fail-Safe Overcharger, Canoptek Cloak 

+ Troops + 

Necron Warriors [12 PL, 260pts] . 20x Necron Warrior (Gauss Reaper): 20x Gauss Reaper 

Necron Warriors [6 PL, 130pts] . 10x Necron Warrior (Gauss Reaper): 10x Gauss Reaper 

Necron Warriors [6 PL, 130pts] . 10x Necron Warrior (Gauss Reaper): 10x Gauss Reaper 

+ Elites + 

Skorpekh Destroyers [8 PL, 180pts] . 2x Skorpekh Destroyer (Reap-Blade): 2x Hyperphase Reap-Blade . 4x Skorpekh Destroyer (Thresher): 4x Hyperphase Threshers 

+ Fast Attack + 

Canoptek Scarab Swarms [4 PL, 75pts] . 5x Canoptek Scarab Swarm: 5x Feeder Mandibles 

Canoptek Wraiths [8 PL, 210pts] . 6x Canoptek Wraith (Claws): 6x Vicious Claws 

+ Heavy Support + 

Lokhust Heavy Destroyers [9 PL, 165pts] . 3x Lokhust Heavy Destroyer (Gauss Destructor): 3x Gauss Destructor 

++ Total: [74 PL, 11CP, 1,500pts] 

I’ve gotten ripped apart by Wraiths and Skorpekh destroyers in the past, so I know they are melee threats. I’ve never faced the Novokh dynasty, but I looked them up and it looks like they have a lot of buffs for melee. 

Seeing such a melee-heavy list, I was worried my cultists would evaporate really quickly, and thought about changing my strategy. But I decided to run in with the strategy and secondaries I had been thinking about for a few weeks. 

Game time!

We played the mission Recover the Relics from the War Zone Nachmund: Grand Tournament Mission Pack. It has 6 objectives with “Hammer and Anvil” deployment (really far from each other).

My secondaries:

  • Retrieve Nachmund Data
  • The Long War
  • Psychic Interrogation

Tyler’s Secondaries: 

  • Engage on All Fronts
  • Assassination
  • To The Last

I deployed two squads of cultists and my 3 characters deep in my deployment zone trying to hug some cover. Everything else was in deep strike or strategic reserve. 

Pre-Game deployment for Chaos Space Marines, Emperor’s Children

Tyler deployed all of his units, with warriors closely hugging his deployment line to get an early jump on objectives. 

After deployment. Necrons on the left.

Tyler got the first turn, which actually worked out well for me. He moved his Warriors up to grab several objectives, and advanced his Wraiths quickly across the field.

Tyler had some very powerful long-range shooting from his Lokhust Heavy Destroyers and Catacomb Command Barge. But, I had very little on the board. He managed to annihilate 5 cultists. 

Emperor’s Children Daemon Prince “The Ringleader” slowly advances with an entourage of cultist I call the “Murder Mimes”. Thank you Chris Brody for the photo

Tyler had moved up his units enough that he opened a gap on the back of the board. Enough room for my Dreadclaw drop pod to drop in 9” away from a couple of his units. My plan was to drop mid-field and advance one of his warrior squads. The deployed squad would be close enough to my psykers to get buffs. I  wasn’t to come into his backfield, but it was an opportunity. I deployed my Melee Noise Marines immediately from the Dread Claw, and took some pot shots at the LMD’s nearby.

Deep Striking then charging in the Necron Deployment Zone

With my deep striking unit so far away, I kept my characters hidden and just crept my cultists forward enough to grab another objective. One cultists squad performed the action to complete Retrieve in one quarter. 

My “Mobile Circus Tent” Dread Claw Drop Pod brings the circus to the Necron Deployment Zone. The Squad of Melee Noise Marines “The Murder Clowns” made their charge (right) and engaged the LMD’s. Thanks again to Chris Brody for the photo.

My Dark Apostle failed his prayer roll. And I was trying to cast Delightful Agonies on my Daemon Price, but somehow my sorcerer rolled Perils, so I had to burn a Command point for nothing. 

My noise marines made the 9” charge against his LMD’s, losing one model to overwatch. The Marines weren’t super, and if I hadn’t used Excess of Violence I wouldn’t have had enough wounds to kill off his squad. But, playing The Long War secondary encourages me to aggressively “take” objectives, so I went with it.

The Murder Clowns” a unit of melee Noise Marines attacking Necron LMD’s. Thanks again to Chris Brody for the photo.

I should have summoned a Herald of Slaanesh to be able to perform Psychic Interrogation on turn one, but moved all my characters unnecessarily. Something to do better next time.

End of turn 1: Necrons 0 – Chaos 4

In the top of the 2nd Tyler made some big moves. His Scarabs grabbed an objective, and his Wraiths chopped up 18 of 20 cultists in one squad. Tyler’s warriors destroyed my Noise Marines, which was as an expected trade

Tyler’s Necron Wraiths about to butcher some “Zombie Daemon Clowns” (counts as cultists)

Middle of turn 2: Necrons 12 – Chaos 4

On the bottom of turn 2 I made a lot of big moves too. 

Emperor’s Children make an dramatic entrance in the middle of the fray

I didn’t want to have to fight his Wraiths. I would have rather jumped one of his Warrior squads. But, it was one of his To The Last units, and I wanted to deny him those points. So against my better judgment, I let the secondaries dictate my actions.

Send in the Clowns! Terminators make the charge!

I dropped my terminators essentially in my deployment zone. I planned to bring them in turn 3, but I had an opportunity to shoot his Command Barge and Scarabs before charging the wraiths. I tried to cast Death Hex on the Scarabs to remove their 4++ invulnerable save, but my psyker whiffed on it. At least he got off Prescience on my Terminators, which would prove to be very useful. I used “The Remnant of the Maraviglia” to buff their shooting. They shot a few melta guns at his Warlord, killed quite a few scarabs, then used Endless Cacophony to shoot twice. Then they charged the Wraiths. What happened next was something I had been Math Hammering in my head, but worked out just as planned. 

Here’s my story of death by a thousand cuts! It’s a Mathhammer nightmare:

I charged 10 Terminators with lightning claws and an Icon of Excess into 6 Necron Wraiths. Used Combat Elixirs on the Terminators for extra attack. Death Hex power failed to cast, but Prescience did.

51 attacks hitting on 2’s, re-roll 1’s from nearby Daemon Prince. Death to the False Emperor (DTTFE) triggered extra hits on 4’s!

Wind up with 74 hits.

Then, strength 4 vs toughness 5 means normally wounding on 5’s. Used Veterans of the Long War Strat, so wounding on 4’s, re-rolling everything because of Lightning Claws.

Results in 53 wounds at AP-2!

Opponent failed enough 4++ invulnerable saves and the squad wiped!

I needed A LOT of dice! I’m thinking of getting a dice tower. Or a bucket. 

Here’s why DTTFE triggered on 4’s:

Normally 6+. Icon of Excess makes it trigger on 5+. Prescience adds 1 to hit roll, so effectively 4+

All 53 of these were successful wounds caused by one squad of terminators. Tyler had to make 53 saves at AP-2

To my chagrin, I still hadn’t performed the Psychic Interrogation action.

I also got cheeky and used Tide of Traitors to “re-spawn” the 20 model cultist squad to his backfield and grabbed another Retrieve. 

End of turn 2: Necrons 12 – Chaos 16 (including 4 for retrieve)

Tyler had a really strong turn 3: He used “veil” to bring his Skorpehk Destroyers into the fray by the “green objective” that my Terminators just took from his Wraiths. He successfully charged with the Skorpehk’s and annihilated my Terminators. He also destroyed my Dread Claw Drop Pod that was loitering in his deployment zone.

Middle of Turn 3: Necrons 24 – Chaos 16

The back and forth continued. I brought in my Warp Talons near his Skorpehk’s. I had no command points left, but thankfully they made their 9” charge out of deep strike. By this time Tyler had gotten wise to me stacking on DTTFE and used a strat to make me -1 to hit him in melee. My Warp Talons managed to finish off all of the Skorpekh’s. My Deamon prince wounded his commander, but surprisingly, my Dark Apostle finished his commander off.

I don’t have a good “in-game” photo of my Warp Talons. But here are 5 of them. I feel they have a “Mary Poppins” kind of appeal floating with their balloons.

I brought in a squad of cultists from reserve also into Tyler’s backfrield and grabbed another Retrieve. 

I finally summoned a Herald of Slaanesh, and she completed the Psychic Interrogation action on the Necron overlord before it perished. 

End of turn 3: Necrons 24 – Chaos 32 (including 8 for Retrieve)

Top of the 4th, Tyler got the full 12 points for primary but wasn’t able to do much else. He took some potshots at my loitering cultists, and took a lot of bodies.

Middle of turn 4: Necrons 36 – Chaos 32

Here is where I got to have some more fun. My Warp Talons and Daemon Prince flew onto Tyler’s side of the table. It’s really satisfying to fly 12” ignoring terrain. I did a Psychic Interrogation on a Technomancer before my Warp Talons destroyed it and a unit of Warriors. 

End of turn 4: Necrons 36 – Chaos 46

Turn 5 Tyler’s big Warrior squad blasted my Warp Talon’s off the board. They are rather “glass cannon” being able to dish out a lot of hits, but not take much abuse. 

Middle of turn 5: Necrons 56 – Chaos 46

I had so few models left by turn 5. All I could really do was use my Daemon Prince to interrogate his last Technomancer than slay him. My last cultist squad crept over to the last quarter and completed the fourth Retrieve action.

One of Tyler’s “To The Last” units survived, so he got 5 points for that. 

Necrons: 61 – Chaos 65.

Wonderfully close game, very back and forth. 

I loved my list. It was fun to play, fast, and I was always in it. I think I will tweak my psychic powers a bit, but I’m very happy. It’s fun, fast and brutal. I had been coached by Skari to make smart trades, and I think I accomplished that.

Now, here’s the story again, but from a narrative, fluffy perspective. I’m going to try to use as many cliché circus lines as I can in this narrative report:

The quiet before the show always made The Ringleader nervous. Blessed by Slaanesh to spread an excessive and sensational performance to many world’s, the Daemon Prince shifted impatiently. Huddled behind a hab building surrounded by adoring cultists, the large, winged creature strained to peek at the approaching “audience”.

The circus was in town, but not in the way you might imagine. The Ringleader led his warband of Emperor’s Children Heretic Space Marines dubbed “The Circus of sLAUGHTER.” In this case, joining an allied Chaos campaign invading . The Warmaster had sent the warband to invade this drab hab block. Or was it to defend it? Didn’t really matter. After a seemingly unbearable amount of time, The Ringleader was finally going to have some fun. 

Several buildings away, a large force of Novokh Necrons silently marched up the field. The Ringleader didn’t like this. Too quiet. Too far away. He shifted, ready to fly towards the oncoming foe.

Sorcerer Ralph Bohner turned and gave The Ringleader a calming gesture. 

“Patience boss. We must wait backstage to make an appropriate entrance.”

The massive Deamon Prince slouched slightly, and used his large malefic talons to adjust his top hat and bow tie.

As the Necron horde advanced, they fired powerful weaponry at entrenched Heretics. Several cultists were disemboweled by the bombardment. The Ringleader glared impatiently at the nearby Sorcerer. 

“They’re too far away. Time for an opening act! If they won’t come to the Circus, THE CIRCUS WILL COME FOR THEM!


A Dread Claw Drop pod deftly landed behind the advancing Necrons. Quickly, a squad of Noise Marines with loud whirling weapons emerged and charged towards the nearest unit, which happened to be a trio of Lokhurt Heavy Destroyers. The Marines gleefully took Chainsword to xenos metal, many blows futilely grinding without purchase, but creating a din of sparks and shrieking noise. They let fly enough blows that some hit soft points and joints, and they revelled over the dismantled constructs

A large unit of Necron Warriors paused their silent march, turned around and leveled a flurry of shots at the newly arrived Marines. After there was little left of the Marines, the Warriors resumed their trudge into the district.

“Tough crowd,” chortled a Dark Apostle across the way. “No appreciation for rhythm and percussion.”

The Ringleader was about to respond, when a cultist near him unceremoniously exploded, draping the Daemon Prince in gore. The Ringleader smiled at the carnage, as he saw a squad of Canoptek Wraiths disenbowl a dozen cultists around him. The Necron leader loomed nearby in a Catacomb Command Barge.


With a flourishing entrance, a squad of Chaos Space Marine Terminators teleported into the battlefield. Their armour is bulky, heavy, and oppressive. One even carelessness stomped on an awestruck Cultists as the Terminators made their grand entrance.

The Dark Apostle thought this would be an appropriate time to add some background music to the fray. Signalling his nearby Dark Disciples, he activated the vox-casters in his armour and broadcast a Remnant of the Maraviglia, the famous (or infamous) musical composition that signaled the Emperor’s Children’s official descent into demonic insanity. 

The Ringleader signaled the Sorcerer to cast a Death Hex upon the Wraiths. Ralph Bohner tried to manifest the spell, but the witchfire seeming emitting from him sputtered or stopped.

“Performance Issues? Stage fright” mocked the Dark Apostle. The Sorcerer merely glared.

The newly arrived Terminators were invigorated and seeked to add noise to the battlefield with a seemingly endless cacophony of shots from the combi-meltas before crashing into the nearby Wraiths. With dozens of blows, the Terminators dismantled the tenacious Wraiths. However, they were so effective they left none for The Ringleader to participate.

As quickly as the Terminators fell the Wraiths, a wave of Skorpekh Destroyers fell upon the Terminators and stuck them down. 



As if on cue, a squad of Warp Talons arrived nearby, wreathed by esoteric energy as they burst from the Warp with a Warpflame Strike.

“NOW THAT’S AN ENTRANCE!” Extorted the Daemon Prince. 

As the Warp Talons pounced on the Destroyers, the Ringleader turned his sights to the nearby Command Barge. It was already badly damaged by gunfire from the Terminators. 

“LET ME SHOW YOU A MAGIC TRICK!” The Ringleader sneered as he cast a bolt of arcane energy at the Barge before slamming it to the ground with his talons. But, before he could finish the kill, the Dark Apostle stepped in and beheaded the Necron Commander with his Accursed Crozius. 

“Look at that! I made his head disappear.” The Dark Apostle gloated as he smiled.

The Ringleader was frustrated that the kill had been stolen from him. He spied a Technomancer retreating from the carnage.

“LEAVING SO SOON!?” The Daemon Prince bellowed?


Flanked by the Warp Talons, the Daemon Prince took flight, bounding across the battlefield.

“I NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE” he bellowed as he pounced on the retreating character. 


Barked The Ringleader, as he tore apart the Technomancer with a satisfying snap.

A time later, the Dark Apostle surveyed the battlefield. It was covered in debris of wrecked vehicles, machines, robots, rubble, bodies, and blood. Smouldering fires kicked up a hazy mist. He spied an ornate case in a ruined building. Curiously, he opened it. He closed the case and passed the artifact to his Dark Disciples. He instructed them to incorporate this new Relic into his armour. He felt he deserves the upgrade.

Blight Bombardment Token

Miniature token to mark use of the Death Guard “Blight Bombardment” stratagem for Warhammer 40k games. It is made to resemble a Bob-omb from the Super Mario video games.

A Bob-omb as it appears in the Super Mario Brothers video games

This model is made from a ball of milliput, a few strategically cut pieces of plasticard, and a square base to contrast with the standard round Warhammer bases. As with many of my models, it has LED’s. The flickering yellow LED on its “wick” should indicate that its fuse has been lit. And, in true Nurgle fashion, there’s a Nurgling on top mischievously lighting the fuse.

Circuit for the flickering LED light

As a stratagem, Blight Bombardment isn’t great: In-game it costs 3 command points (CP) and a whole turn later may do D3 mortal wounds to units within 6″. It’s very similar but slightly inferior to the Orbital Bombardment stratagem that Loyalist Marines can use. And definitely inferior to the Orbital Ion Beam stratagem that Tau has access to.

Strictly speaking, a Blight Bombardment is supposed to be some sort of plague ordnance fired from orbit. My interpretation is that through some sort of mystical or tech-magik, this sphere teleports into the midst of an opponent’s back line or castle. I imagine it blinking confusedly, while the Nurgling that accompanies it gleefully lights the fuse. Then starts the countdown to the inevitable explosion.

Death Shroud Terminators

Three more Death Guard Deathshroud Terminators bodyguards. Minor conversion is that I replaced the “stock” heads with Necromunda Corpse Grinder Cult heads. Features Dark Age Groundwerks “Infestation” Base Inserts.

Early work-in-progress image of the Deathshroud Terminators

I wanted to paint them using the “Palid Hand” colour scheme. It looked like a clean bone originally, but I added so many grungy layers that it actually almost looks like Death Guard green.

I’m pleased with how well they have turned out. Using lots of tricks with contrast paints and washes helps make it fast and pretty good.

I got a lot of great comments about the background too. The Cherry Blossom trees are something I made for my 2020 display board.

Display Board 2021: “Circus of sLAUGHTER”

At long last, a full post sharing the culmination of my year of Warhammer painting: A display board I call “The Circus of sLAUGHTER” featuring Emperor’s Children Chaos Space Marine models. It was an ambitious project that garnered lots of praise from fellow hobbyists and won me a couple of small accolades.

This project essentially starts after finishing my 2020 display board. I wondered how I could exceed that board. It would have LED’s because that has become my signature. But to go bigger, I wanted a display screen, and a motorized component. 

My iScream truck. The “Sweet Tooth” clown motif kind of inspired the rest of the Circus/clown display board

The idea for the board started by accident: I finished my heavily converted “I Scream” truck/Rhino that was supposed to resemble Sweet Tooth from the Twisted Metal video games. Many commented that a clown-themed army would be a different kind of horrifying. The idea grew from there.

I started with the idea of representing different typical characters from a Circus. There should be clowns, a ringleader, strong man, bearded lady, stunt riders, and other general “freaks”. Originally I thought it would be best represented as a Creations of Bile Chaos Space Marine army.

Many of the models followed:

The balloons quickly became a thematic element. They are “Dollhouse Balloons” I purchased from Amazon.

It was the bikes that inspired the centerpiece of the circus. In classic circuses, there could be people doing crazy stunts riding on horses or even motorcycles in more modern iterations. Looking at pictures of motorcycle show performances, they seem to circle the centre ring. That inspired me to motorize a turntable for the bikes, while leaving the centerpiece static.

There wasn’t any such turntable I could find, so I designed and built my own! I used a Lazy Susan swivel, steel pie pan, motor, and a lot of patience to rig something up. It took a few tries, but I’m very proud of the effect.

To finish the effect, I drew inspiration from a couple of these circus images. In particular, the fabric tent of the toy circus suggested a great way to tie it all together. I ordered a striped piece of fabric and hand sewed it into the right shape. I never expected I’d break out a needle and thread to sew something for Warhammer!

The board also features a speaker system that plays the traditional Circus song “Entrance of the Gladiators”. The lights go through a sequence or colours and can be remotely controlled. 

On the upper level, there is a space for a display screen. I painted a digital photo display frame that I found at a thrift store, and programmed it with images of my circus. The display needs to be plugged in to work. I tried to make it work with an external battery, but the battery would only last a few minutes. So, I made an alternative insert in case I’m in a place without a nearby plug.

With “static” screen replacement

I also have a little speech “The Ringleader” Deamon Prince might bark: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Mortals and Immortals, Daemons or All Ages!

May I have your UNDIVIDED attention!?

We proudly bring to you the greatest show, this side of the Great Rift: The Circus of sLAUGHTER!
Be amazed by feats of strength and speed! 

This much CHAOS could drive you mad! We will overwhelm your senses to give you excessive PLEASURE! After all, laughter is the best medicine. Or was it slaughter? Well, you can’t spell slaughter without laughter!

We’ve got acrobats on bikers! A strongman carrying a motorcycle. A bearded daemonette with crab claws. Duinclaw, an ACTUAL Giant Crab balancing on a ball! Clowns, and Zombie Daemon Clowns and Mutant Murder Clowns!

And Balloons! Oh, so many balloons! 

Coming for you soon! Whether you like it or not!”

I brought this board and army to The Stud or Snotling Tournament in Toronto in October 2021. I was honoured to be awarded with 3rd place for best painted. 

I also entered it into the “Golden Poxling Halloween Painting Competition. It was honoured it was named a finalist in the “Make Me Laugh” category. October 24, 2021 https://www.instagram.com/p/CVar300tUAr/

And finally, I entered it into the annual Armies on Parade at the Heartland Warhammer store, my local Games Workshop. I was honoured that it took Gold in the best of Warhammer 40,000 category.

Now, how do I top this next year?

Chaos Stunt BikeRs

One of the favourite elements of my new display board is a big unit of Chaos Bikes. They are in a variety of trick poses. But, even more interesting is that they MOVE! 

I literally built the new display board to feature these bikes. The turntable is made up from a lazy Susan, steel pie pan, and a little motor.

The bikes themselves are heavily converted and customized. There are two bikes doing wheelies. One is doing a stoppie. Another is a Greater Possessed on a bike. Another is sitting on the handlebars facing forward. One biker is sitting side-saddle. The unit champion is another Greater Possessed on bike and his head has LED lights and he is holding balloons.

My two favourites are the biker doing a handstand, and the biker riding backwards. The backwards rider was particularly interesting because he would have blocked the bike combi-bolter, so he’s holding a storm bolter in his hand instead.

When I field the unit, I also include the heavily-converted Motor tricycle. That one has the rock band and in-game acts as a bike with an Icon of Excess.

I equipped them all with astartes chainswords to maximize their volume of attacks. But, that occupies all their free hands. I was advised to equip the unit with 3 meltaguns (2 meltaguns and a Combi-melta). To model the meltaguns, I installed them on the front of the bikes between the combi-bolter and I think it looks pretty sharp!

Mobile Circus Tents: Converted Dreadclaw Drop Pods

If you don’t want to come to the circus, the CIRCUS WILL COME FOR YOU!!

I converted two “loyalist” drop pods into Dreadclaw Drop Pods. And the colour scheme thematically fits with my circus/clown-themed army: They are painted to resemble circus tents! Imagine units of murderous clowns streaming out of these drop pods when they descend into combat!

I was advised to get some Dreadclaw Drop Pods. They are handy for protecting relatively fragile Chaos Space Marine units or a Contemptor Dreadnought from early shooting. And then these pods can zip around the board getting objectives, flying over enemies effectively “bombing” them, or ramming into enemy models. 

There are several guides online for converting standard drop pods into Dreadclaws. I used this one.

I bought some second-hand drop pods, broke them apart, trimmed the “legs” as suggested, and then put them back together. I did have to adjust the trims a little, and even file off some detail so they would fit upside-down. 

I’m quite happy with the colour scheme. I decided I wanted to mimic the striped walls of a circus tent. I used a “poor man’s airbrush” technique: I blocked out the stripes using painting tape and used different colours of rattle-can spray paint. Spraying like this made for really crisp lines, and even colouring on these big, flat, surfaces.

As with most of my models, I wanted to add LEDs. Instead of wiring everything myself, I got a little lazy and bought small strings of LED Christmas lights from a dollar store. I have 5 lights coming out of the bottom, and as many as I could shove into the top. I used some clear kitchen caulking as a medium to unify the upper beam a bit. I meant to avoid soldering, but the battery case didn’t fit in the drop pod, so I cut it off and soldered in a smaller battery holder. 

Apparently, tournament rules are that the “doors” or “petals” of drop pods must remain in the closed position. I have glued 4 of the 5 doors closed. The 5th can open so I can replace the battery and flip the on/off switch.

And I liked the first one so much, I decided to build a second with the OPPOSITE colour pattern. The second has white legs instead. 

Murder Clowns

Presenting a unit I call “The Murder Clowns.” Heavily converted from Corpse Grinder Cult models from the Necromunda Dark Uprising box. I plan to run them as melee-oriented Noise Marines. I also replaced some of their heads with daemonette heads for a more Slaanesh-like vibe.

I started building these models to be cultists for my circus/clown-themed Emperor’s Children army. They look intimidating and dangerous. I noticed that the bigger guys are much bigger than cultists; they are almost Astartes-sized! In fact, they looked a little silly on 25mm bases. So, I decided to really make them into Astartes: I added Chaos Space Marine backpacks, shoulder pads and pistols to make them more Space Marine-like, and placed them on 32mm Necromunda bases.

Champion of the “Murder Clowns” Noise Marines Squad. His red hood with white stripe is a reference to Space Marine Sergeant Helmets. The base model is a Chaos Sorcerer from an AoS Warshrine Kit.

The unit Champion is quite different. I started with the Chaos Sorcerer from the AoS Chaos Warshrine kit. I gave him a chainsword, Corpse Grinder cult head, Chaos Space Marine backpack and shoulder pads, and a balloon. I’m calling the ring around his head an Icon of Excess. His hood is red with a white stripe; it’s a kind of tongue-in-cheek reference to the veteran sergeant helmets of Codex Astartes compliant loyalist Space Marine Chapters. I gave him a plasma pistol to take advantage of the “Music of the Apocalypse” rule.

I like the vivid colour scheme that I gave them. The pink is consistent with the rest of my Emperor’s Children army. I really like that the green/yellow around their “hair” really pops. The green is layered from several colours: Ushabti Bone, then Dorn Yellow, then Tessaract Glow, and finished with a wash of Biel-Tan Green.

Their faces have glowing green eyes and bloody smiles. These models would make great Khorne Bezerkers, but unfortunately, all units in an Emperor’s Children army must have mark of Slaanesh. So, I’m saying they are Noise Marines with Chainswords. In an Emperor’s Children army, Noise Marines are troops. And for only 2 points per model more than basic Chaos Space Marines, they gain 1 Attack each, and the Music of the Apocalypse ability.

Magnetic Carrying Case

I’m finally going to play a game of Warhammer again, my first in almost a year. I decided I needed a better model carrying option than throwing them in a box full of bubble wrap, especially since I have Chaos models with lots of spikey bits. Many of my models already have magnets on their bases because I want them to stick to my display board. So, I decided to modify a box to carry the models.

It was a pretty simple assembly of things from Wal-Mart:

  • -A 14L plastic case
  • -9 x 13” carbon steel cookie sheet
  • -Gorilla Glue
  • -Tin shears
Some assembly required

I’ve used this plastic case for years and it fits nicely on my cart. I might even get another one.

It’s really important that the sheet be steel. If it’s aluminum magnets won’t work on it. I usually use sheet steel from a hardware store for the flat surfaces on my display board, but I found this is actually quite a bit cheaper.

Snip snip

I trimmed the cookie sheet so that it will fit inside the bin. Make sure you wear gloves when handling cut steel because the edges can get really sharp.

Cut down to size

After making sure the pan fits, I covered the bottom in gorilla glue, put a weight on it and left it overnight. 

Afterwards, voila! A carrying case with a steel base for holding models with magnets!

My Emperor’s Children army in the magnetized carrying case

Here’s a picture of my Emperor’s Children army for my game on Saturday. There are 50PL or about 1100 points!